My presently long reddish hair has always been quite curly. When I was a baby and very small child, my hair was kept short, and, as a baby, it was in ringlets all around my head. Not so much as a small child, however. Then, I grew it long and wore it in two pigtails, until the end of the year, in third grade, had it short in 4th grade, and during our trip to India. My younger sister had mousy-brown hair, which was as straight as they come, as a pre-teen and a young teenager. When she got seriously ill, however, her hair texture changed somewhat. In the fifth grade, my hair was sort of shoulder length, and I often wore it with a headband.
The summer before entering 6th grade, my mom made me cut my hair. I grew it out again. I had a good friend, with long, thick, straight blonde hair that I envied. I did not know how to really treat my naturally curly hair, and it showed. In the summer prior to entering 7th grade, I often wore pigtails. I’d sometimes wear a topknot, much to the distaste of my younger sister, and many of my classmates/neighbors. I still had short hair in the fall of the 8th grade, which I frequently complained about, due to my believing that it wasn’t growing fast enough. I was still in Girl Scouts. One day, at the end of an 8th-grade Girl Scout camping trip, some of the other Girl Scouts began baiting me about my insistence on keeping my hair long. They said that it was too curly and frizzy to have long. I disagreed. I said it was none of their concern. “Yes it is.” one of them said. “No it’s not.” I shot back”. “ I’m having my hair thinned out for the summer.” I argued. “I’ve had it thinned several times, and it hasn’t worked for me.” another girl chimed in. “It’s my hair, I can do what I want.” I responded.
“Have it your own way and grow it long, but you’ll look like a dog.” still another girl said.
”You guys have no right to make it your business if I wear my hair long.” I shot back.
“We want to make it our business, because your hair is frizzy.” said yet another girl in the Girl Scout Troop.
“I don’t care what you guys think. It’s none of your concern how I wear my hair.” After that, the other Girl Scouts all decided that it was futile to argue with me.
I decided, once and for all, that I was going to let my hair grow, despite advice from my family to cut it short. By the time springtime rolled around, my hair was long enough to put back in a pony tail, which I wore. I was able to put my hair back in a pony tail on my own. The other girls in my cabin at camp didn’t like it, but I wore it anyway, despite lots of flack.
This was back, beginning in the mid-1960’s, when long, straight hair was in fashion. My mom took me to a beauty parlor to have my hair straightened. Straightening curly hair was the reverse of a permanent; instead of setting it in rollers to make it curly, they’d comb it out straight. It straightened well enough, but the new hair grew in curly. I ended up setting it in huge, jumbo-sized plastic rollers, once a week, after washing it. This I did all through high school. My dad really couldn’t stand the sight of me in those big, jumbo rollers, and he’d frequently complain. My mom didn’t like it either, but dad was sort of forced to comply.
My parents, sister, and other people all knew how sullen, surly and nasty I could be if I was forced to cut my hair short. On thinking back on it, however, had my dad had his way, I would’ve ended up wearing it short and close-cropped, whether I wanted to or not. I went along with the fashions of the day. I listened to rock music like most teens do, and still like a lot of the 1960’s rock-n-roll today. I missed out on partying, dancing, dating, and making friends with boys due to my neurodevelopment problems, but I still kept on doing what I was doing, anyhow. I was different and was often ostracized and made fun of for that, but the more I tried fitting in, the more I was ostracized and made fun of.
It wouldn’t have made a difference, even in the large suburban public high school that I attended. I frequently got hassled by some other girls in my grade who though I looked better with it short. One girl who was particularly and obnoxiously persistent finally got told off by me, and she didn’t bother me after that. This was in the ninth grade, when I was a high school Freshman. This particular girl made a point of going around and saying to other girls, “Don’t you think Miki should cut her hair?” or saying to me “Oh, you’re letting your hair grow, huh? I like it better short because it’s curly.”
Some of the other girls agreed with her, others did not, but most just ignored her.
One day, during Phys. Ed, this particular girl began hassling me once again. Our conversation went like this:
“Cat”: Miki, why don’t you get your hair cut?
Me: I prefer it long, that’s why.
“Cat”: Well, you should cut it. It looks much better short.
Me: I don’t care what you think.
“Cat”: You’d be a much better-looking person
Me; I don’t care what you think.
“Cat”: That’s what I know.
Me: Tough shit! I don’t care what you know!
At this point, “Cat” said to another girl: “I anticipated this (my reaction) very well.”
I was never hassled again, by any of the other girls.
At the end of my Senior year, I had my hair cut sort of between collarbone length and ear length, and still had to set it, because of the way I liked wearing it. Then, in the fall of 1969, I had my hair short once again. Once again, however, I couldn’t wait to grow it long, which I did, and wore 2 pigtails. After high school, however, I abandoned the idea of setting my hair in rollers to straighten it, and sitting under the hairdryer for a couple of hours afterwards. I kept my hair long, have kept it long ever since, and am glad of it.
I’m well into my 60’s and have kept my hair long for the past, oh, almost 50 years. Almost nobody has hassled me, for a number of years. A couple of women at work suggested that I get my curly hair cut into an Afro style, but I refused, despite their saying that I’d look good in an Afro because my hair was so curly. I told them both where to get off, and to mind their own business.
I prefer my hair long, because I can do much more with it, and having my hair long feels more like me. I’m still physically quite active; I walk, bike, and take Tae Kwon Do. I feel more liberated and happy with my hair long. After going through several hair dressers, I found one that my mom recommended, who gave me some wonderful advice about how to manage my very curly hair. I abandoned setting my hair in rollers to straighten it, and then sitting under the hair dryer, partly because that wasn’t good for it, and partly because I realized that it was perfectly okay to keep my hair long and still go natural.
My mom, after telling this particular hairdresser how eccentric I am about my hair, recommended this particular hairdresser, partly because she was very, very nice, and partly because she was more than willing to do what I wanted when it came to my hair. I spruce up the color, have a trim and shampooing with her twice a year, and it’s worked quite well. I’ve taken to using sulphate-free shampoos, and not brushing it at all, and using both rinse-out and leave-in conditioners for my hair after I shampoo it, every 4-5 days.
My hair dresser also said that with curly hair, it’s not good to comb it out when it’s dry, and I generally don’t. One thing I’ve taken to doing, prior to shampooing, however, which has also helped stimulate growth of my hair is to massage my scalp with jojoba oil, with afew drops of tea tree oil added, wrap my hair in a plastic bag, and leave it in for a half hour to an hour, before shampooing it out, and conditioning it. It seems to have worked, so far. Since my hair is quite thick, it generally takes a couple of good sudsing to get it clean, but that’s not so terrible. I use an extra-thick comb to detangle it, after washing it, and use a couple of good leave-in conditioners, as well. Under my hairdresser’s advice, however, I don’t use either the rinse-out or leave-in conditioners on my scalp, but start at mid-length.
I let my hair dry naturally, and it goes into longish corkscrew curls. I wear my hair in different ways, to suit my moods, or what I’ll be doing. Of course, back in the 1960’s, when I was a teenager, very few people, if any, really knew about how to treat curly hair, which is a big part of why I was hassled about it so often by other girls that I went to school with. Even then, and into my 20’s, my mom would occasionally suggest that I get a little shaggy haircut, or even an Afro, but I prevailed.
Long hair, to me, makes me feel more comfortable, and it feels right. When I have been occasionally hassled about it, or had suggestions that I cut it short, I’ve responded “Hey!” It’s my hair, I have to live with it and to wear it! You don’t!” That’s always made people shut up and not hassle me since.
So, all of the above having been written, it looks like I’ll be keeping my long, thick, naturally curly tresses long forever. I did have bangs for awhile, but I grew them out. I no longer part my hair right in the middle ala 70’s-Gloria Steinham-style, but I do offset it somewhat, which is better, I think. Another thing I like about having long hair is that I can wear it in a number of different ways. I wear several hats, in that respect. A number of women and men that I went to high school with have complimented me on my hair, and how beautiful they think it is. People can and do mellow out somewhat, and some mellow out a lot. I’ve though about getting a medium-textured boar bristle brush for my hair, because they’re said to distribute the oil down the hair shaft. I might ask my hairdresser about it when I see her again after the first of the year.
Although my hair isn’t as thick as it was back in the day, I’ve still got quite a bit of it left, in both thickness and length, to do pretty much what I want with.
Merry X-mas to all of you. Thanks for letting me ramble.